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hi my name is rachel berry and i’ll be singing on my own from the seminal broadway classic les mis. you might laugh because every time i sign my name i put a gold star after it, but it’s a metaphor, and metaphors are important. my gold stars are a metaphor for me being a star. and just so we’re clear, i want to clear up that hateful rumor that i was the one who turned in that closet case sandy ryerson in because he gave hank saunders the solo i deserved. that’s cock poopy. i’m not homophobic. in fact, i have two gay dads. see, i was born out of love. my two dads screened potential surrogates based on beauty and iq. then they mixed their sperm together and used a turkey baster. to this day we don’t know which one is my real dad, which i think is pretty amazing. my dads spoiled me in the arts. i was given dance lessons, vocal lessons, anything to give me a competitive edge. you might think that all the boys in school would totally want to tap this, but my myspace schedule keeps me way too busy to date. i try to post a myspace video every day just to keep my talent alive and growing. nowadays, being anonymous is worse than being poor. fame is the most important thing in our culture now. and if there’s one thing that i’ve learned, it’s that no one’s just going to hand it to you.

(Source: chickentatum)

Monday Feb 20 2012 @ 03:26pm

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